A Doctor Whom I Admire

In 1990 Mr.Thakur fell ill and had very high fever, so he had to be admitted in the hospital. The very next day his fever was down but doctors told him to stay for two more days so that he can have some blood tests etc. So, the tests were done and the doctors told us that in the evening we can have the reports and then he will be discharged. So after his lunch I went home and came back with his clothes etc. As I went to the hospital I thought he will be eagerly waiting for me to take him home. But after reaching there I was told that he has to stay there for few more days because his hemoglobin was only 7% and now they wanted to investigate the reason. That day was the last day of my happy cheerful life. After two three days when the required investigation was done, the doctor discharged him and told him to come after two weeks for review.

After two weeks we again went to the hospital, the doctor suggested for some blood tests and after seeing the report told us that they were not able to diagnose the decease, so they will have to do the bone marrow, so it is better to go to Vellore. The doctor referred Mr. Thakur to Vellore .

That time my elder son was in standard 9th, and younger in standard 8th. When it was decided to go to Vellore, I informed my parents and they came to Jamshedpur. My father told me that he will also go with us and my mother will stay with children at Jamshedpur. So myself, my husband and my father went to Vellore for the treatment.

I pray God that the time I spent during our stay at Vellore never comes to any one's life. We reached Vellore in the evening, so first of all we checked in to a hotel and after that we went to see the hospital and inquire about the registration etc. The next day in the morning first we went to the hospital and Mr. Thakur was admitted to the hospital, he was allotted a cabin and was told that he will be in Dr. Kurian's unit, who was one of the best gastroentrologist of India and head of the department of gastroentrology in CMCH. Really I have not met such a nice, humble doctor or as a person till now. Every time he use to come for his visit to the cabin with smiling face and was never in hurry. He use to first sit on the attendant's bed which was beside the patients bed and then ask and examine. The doctors of CMCH Vellore are really very dedicated but Dr. Kurian was unique.

Dr. Kurian with team of his doctors came in the cabin and examined him soon after he was admitted and prescribed several investigations. The next day we were busy in investigations. In the evening again some investigations were prescribed by the doctor. This way one week passed in anticipation that doctor will say now the investigations are over and you may go home. Every day while leaving my hotel I use to think that "to-day he will be discharged".

For first two three days, everyday in the night after Mr. Thakur's dinner I use to go to the hotel with my father, which was near the hospital and use to come to the hospital at 6o'clock in the morning. I never slept in the night till I was in Vellore. The nights were very big for me during those period. I use to get up after every 1/2 hrs. or 45minutes and go to the bath room and see the time because I didn't wanted my father to be disturbed.

After seven days almost all the investigations were done, so I was very happy and thought that now they will not do the bone marrow and now we can go home. On 8th or 9th day doctor came in morning as his regular visit and went back. After some time one of his junior doctor called me in the doctors room. I went, he then asked me, "do you have anyone with you", I simply replied that my father was with me. So, the doctor asked his age and I replied he is more than sixty. Now the doctor asked me, "can you donate blood? We are going to do your husband's bone marrow which is very painful and your husband's blood count is very low, so he needs blood transfusion first". I agreed and the doctor gave me a form and asked me to go to the blood bank and donate blood.

Without going to my husband's cabin or without telling him, I went straight to the blood bank. I showed the form to the doctor there and the doctor took me and told me to sit on a chair.I sat there and after some time the doctor came and took me inside a huge hall. There I saw many beds and on all the beds, people were donating blood. I was very scared of injection and it was blood donation which I had heard that it takes time. So before they injected and started taking my blood I was very scared. I was thinking what will happen if I faint on the bed, who will donate blood for my husband but after sometime I was comfortable.

After I was comfortable, I had confidence that now I will not faint on the bed, so I started talking with the nurse who was attending me. First thing I asked her," will this blood be given to my husband"? She told me no, "he will get the blood of his group, which we have in our bank". Now I was very upset and tense too, because I had heard that the blood which were donated were not tested for HIV there, so the hospital only takes the blood of relatives who use to come with the patients as an attendant. Now I told the nurse that my blood group and my husband's blood group was same and asked her to write the name of the donor and the patient on the blood, so that my husband gets the same blood which I had donated. The nurse said that it was not possible. I requested her but she didn't agree. The nurse called the incharge of that blood bank on my request and he also told me that it was not possible. I was very much upset and requested the incharge to at least write my name on the blood pouch. I had seen the sticker on the pouch. He told me that they write the blood group, the donors name and date on it. Again I requested him to keep the blood for at least few hours and not give the blood to another patient. I also told him that I am going to request Dr. Kurian for it. So, hearing Dr. Kurian's name the in- charge told me OK, we will keep it.

The nurse came near me and took out the needle from my hand and told me to be there for at least fifteen minutes. As the nurse went I quickly got up and after wearing my sandal left the place. While leaving I saw a nurse bringing tea and calling me to have tea and then go, but I didn't listen to her nor waited there for a moment. Since I was there for 8-9 days and everyday had to go to Dr. Kurian so I knew where doctor should be at that time. I went straight to the ward where I expected Dr. Kurian but he was not there and the ward doctor told me and directed me to another ward. I went there almost running but all in vain, Dr. Kurian was not there even. When I reached that ward by the time I was exhausted thirsty and very tensed. Anyone could know seeing my face and speaking to me. I met a junior doctor as I entered the ward, who use to come with Dr. Kurian. First thing I asked the doctor was:" excuse me where is Dr. Kurian"? the doctor looked at my face and said :"what happened" ? I said "nothing but I need Dr. Kurian's help, so tell me where he is." The doctor looked at me and asked the nurse to give me water. He told me to drink water and sit there, he will call Dr. Kurian there. Immediately he took out his pager and paged the message. Then he asked me my problem. I told him, as I was to finish I saw Dr. Kurian coming. I immediately went to him and told him the whole thing. He immediately assured me not to worry and said:"your blood will be given to your husband" and he himself picked up the phone and instructed the incharge of the blood bank to send the same blood to the cabin of Mr. Thakur which I had donated. He then told me to go to the cabin and the blood transfusion will be done in the evening. I had no words to thank him.

The blood was sent to the cabin in the evening and transfusion was done at night. It was over in the mid night. The very next day again Dr. Kurian came in the morning and instructed the doctor and nurse and me about the medication and food and told that the next day bone marrow will be done.

The next day as usual at about 9o'clock in the morning Dr. Kurian came with his team of doctors and with his smile told that now they will do the bone marrow. I was told to wait out side, so I and my father went outside and they started their job. We were standing outside and waiting doctors to come out. Suddenly I heard a sound that made me cry but I controlled my self, but I felt that every thing was dark in front of me. I again controlled my self, it came in my mind that my father was near me, so I went and sat on a chair. After a while doctors came and told us to go inside, their work was over. When I entered the room Mr. Thakur was lying on the bed but he could not control him self and was crying. He told me "jaan le liya". I cannot describe what I felt that time alone there. No one was there to console me, my father was there but how could I tell him about my feelings.

The very next day Dr. Kurian came with his team of doctors and report. He first came and asked Mr. Thakur about how he was feeling, then after talking with him and me he came to the point and told us about the bone marrow report. The first thing he told us that your bone marrow report shows that your cells are malignant. That time I did not knew what was malignant and what Dr. Kurian wanted to say. Only I could know that some thing was wrong with the report. After that he told us since it was oncology department case, so he was referring it to oncologist. Now I could judge the situation and could not think what to speak, answer or ask any thing to the doctor. After explaining every thing and instructing his junior doctors to prepare papers for oncology department, he went. Mr. Thakur was discharged and told to visit oncology department. We went to our hotel.

The next day we had our appointment with Dr. Prasad an oncologist in the evening . My self and Mr. Thakur went to Dr. Prasad. He had all the reports in front of him. He did not ask much, he only explained the disease. The word he told in front of me, no wife can expect that. Still when ever I remember that day and those words I am very upset. The doctor told my husband in front of me that in this disease life is maximum fifteen years. He advised some more investigations and told us to stay some more days but it can be done staying outside the hospital, so we went to our hotel. Both of us were silent but we could know each others feelings. Whole night we did not speak a word to each other. Mr. Thakur slept very late in the night but I could not sleep for a minute. In the morning we went to the hospital on time.

After some investigation Dr. Prasad told us that if needed blood count should be replaced, so some one should be ready for donating blood count. The process of Blood count replacement he explained us. He asked us who was ready to donate the blood count. I told him I am fit and can donate. So Dr.Prasad gave me a form and told me to go to the blood bank and get the test done and again admitted Mr. Thakur. After settling there in the cabin I went for the test to the blood bank. The doctor asked me few questions and told me to sit on a chair and after that he took some blood for the test and told me to go. As I got up to go, I felt giddiness and sat there. The doctor told me to lie down there. After some time I got up the doctor told me sorry, your blood count cannot be taken, so we have rejected you for the same and he gave me the paper in which they had given the remarks that the donor had giddiness during blood test, so she is not fit for donating the blood count.

After I was rejected I was very depressed. I was walking towards the cabin and thinking what to do, just then I saw Dr. Kurian coming towards me. As he came near me he asked what did Dr. Prasad say. I narrated the whole situation and asked him now what to do, I don't have any donor. I literally started crying hearing his answer. He told me "don't worry if it is needed, I will donate my blood count". I could not imagine that a doctor can say this. I yet admire Dr. Kurian.

मुझे मेरा बचपन लौटा दो

" मुझे मेरा बचपन लौटा दो "

मुझे मेरा बचपन लौटा दो ,
कदम्ब तो नहीं झूले पर झुला दो ।

याद नहीं माँ की थपकी ,
और न मधुमय तुतलाना ।
स्मरण नहीं वे लम्हें अब तो ,
उन लम्हों को शाश्वत ही बना दो ।
मुझे मेरा ...................... ।

परीकथा की परी समझ ख़ुद ,
आते होठों पर मुस्कान ।
मेरे मन के निश्चल भावों को ,
पल भर को ही पंख लगा दो ।
मुझे मेरा ................... ।

अभिमानी अंचल मे भर दो ,
विपुल भावनाओं का हार ।
भोलापन यदि हो ना सम्भव ,
चंचलता थोड़ा ही सिखा दो ।
मुझे मेरा .................... ।

-कुसुम ठाकुर -

यह सोच मैं हूँ हैरान

" यह सोच मैं हूँ हैरान "

बहुत कठिन है साथ में हँसना ,
और किसी की खातिर रोना ,
सँग सँग जीवन पथ पर
फिर भी , चलना है आसान ,
यह सोच मैं हूँ हैरान ।

महल से न कम घर होगा ,
क्या सोची थी यह कब होगा ?
जीवन की सच्चाई का तब ,
क्यों नहीं मुझे था भान ,
यह सोच मैं हूँ हैरान ।

जीवन के इस बगिया में ,
धूप छाँव दोनों आते हैं ।
किसकी बारी कब आएगी ,
इसका न हुआ कभी ज्ञान
यह सोच मैं हूँ हैरान ।।

- कुसुम ठाकुर -

रुख हवा का न बदले यही चाहती हूँ

" रुख हवा की न बदले यही चाहती हूँ "

रुख हवा की न बदले यही चाहती हूँ
और ज़फा से रहूँ दूर यही चाहती हूँ

दूरियाँ तो न चाही सिफर ही मिला
यादों को बसा लूँ यही चाहती हूँ

तबस्सुम तो है पर शिकन कम नहीं
बस आँसू न निकले यही चाहती हूँ

जिन्दगी के सफ़र से तो दहशत नहीं
पर तन्हा न रहूँ बस यही चाहती हूँ

क्या यादों के मंज़र से निकलूँ कभी
उसे अपना बना लूँ यही चाहती हूँ

- कुसुम ठाकुर -

पुष्प गुच्छ भी दे न सकी मैं

" पुष्प गुच्छ भी दे न सकी मैं "

पुष्प गुच्छ भी दे न सकी मैं ,
अब कैसे मैं अश्रु छुपाऊं ।
तुम हो गए नक्षत्र गगन के ,
सखी धरणी की न बन पाऊँ ।

रस्म सदा से जो चली आई ,
ग्रहण सहज कैसे कर पाऊँ ।
अंतर्मन में प्रश्न उलझ गए ,
अब उनको कैसे सुलझाऊँ ?

इस अन्जान सफ़र पर एक दिन ,
जाते तो सब , समझ न पाऊँ ।
तुमको पा अभिमान हुआ क्यों ,
यह नादानी अब किसे बताऊँ ?

पुष्प गुच्छ भी दे न सकी मैं ,
अब कैसे मैं अश्रु छुपाऊं ?

- कुसुम ठाकुर -

(आचार्य संजीव वर्मा को परिचय देने की जरूरत नहीं है । आज मेरी कविता पर कविता द्वारा टिप्पणी क्या पूरी की पूरी कविता ही लिख डाला आचार्य जी ने । प्रस्तुत है उनका आशीर्वाद कहें, टिप्पणी कहें वा जवाब । )

मन को छूती रचना पढ़कर हुई प्रतिक्रिया 'तेरा तुझको अर्पण क्या लागे मेरा' की भावना सहित आपको समर्पित-

पुष्प गुच्छ यदि दें न सकीं तुम
तो मत इस पर अश्रु बहाओ...

पुष्प गुच्छ देते उनको जो,
आमंत्रित मेहमां होते हैं।पुष्प गुच्छ देते उनको जो
ना तो दिल ना जां होते हैं.
हम अभिन्न हैं ऐसे कैसे
तुमसे पुष्प गुच्छ ले लेता।
तन बिछुड़े पर सात जन्म तक
आत्माओं का साथ निभाओ.
पुष्प गुच्छ यदि दें न सकीं तुम
तो मत इस पर अश्रु बहाओ...

शब्द तुम्हारे, मेरे ही हैं.
भाव उतारे, मेरे ही हैं.
बिम्ब प्रतीक और रस मेरे
साँझ-सकारे मेरे ही हैं.
प्रभु को जो अर्पित करतीं वे

सुमन स्वयं आकर ले लेता
हूँ अदृश्य पर अलग नहीं हूँ.
सदा साथ हूँ मान भी जाओ.
पुष्प गुच्छ यदि दें न सकीं तुम
तो क्यों इस पर अश्रु बहाओ?...

(किसी अनुपस्थित के मनोभावों का अनुमान कर लिखी गयी रचना उनकी प्राणप्रिया को रुची तो कलम धन्य हो गयी. यह तो मेरी रचना नहीं है उन्हीं की है जिन्होंने अपनी बात मुझे माध्यम बनाकर कहलवाई. उनहोंने इसे आपके लिए लिखवाया...यह आपकी है...जब जहाँ जैसे चाहें उपयोग कीजिये । )

-आचार्य संजीव वर्मा -